Doing What You Love

Tonight was the Stu Larsen: Ryeford gig. It was organised by Hopeful Productions and I volunteer with them.

I got asked a couple of times tonight if I worked for Hopeful Productions to which I replied with no, I was just volunteering. Later on, I was talking to one half of one of the support acts (see Alex and Ross Conradie) and I, again, got asked if I worked for Hopeful Productions. I said no and mentioned how the things I do for free are the things I love doing and the things I get paid to do are the things I find meh.

Examples: Graphic design work for Skye and volunteering for Hopeful. Previously, all the design work I'd done for Skye had been free of charge and I had absolutely no problem with that (only this year did she pay me for the work I did for PLC, after she'd left WBC). I was totally fine with working on the designs instead of studying for my exams and only getting a boquet of flowers in return (if even). My sister asked me how I liked what I did for Hopeful and honestly, I love it. I really, really enjoy helping them and it doesn't matter that I do it for free. I could not care less about that.

I think part of the reason that I like doing what I mentioned above is because I'm helping them. I realised a long time ago that I just want to help people. I want to intern at To Write Love On Her Arms because I want to help people when they most need someone, I want to be able to give them the support and comfort that I never got. I want to go on mission trips and help those in need. I remember when the Haiti earthquakes happened, all I wanted to do was go over and help. They showed all those images of those poor children who had been abandoned (not just specifically with the Haiti earthquakes but anything - Hurricane Katrina, Japan and New Zealand earthquakes) and all I can think of is how those poor children shouldn't have to be in that position. They're children and they shouldn't have to go through that. I just wanted to help them and hug them. But I digress majorly. My brain isn't functioning properly right now.

Find me a job where I can help others and I will be happy with it. That's what I love doing - helping others. Whether it's just being there when someone needs somebody to listen or helping run an event or going over choreography with someone; I just want to give to the community. It's not even a "give back" to the community, it's just a give. I don't want to do something in return, I just want to do something. Change the world, make it better.

I'm so sorry if this post makes zilch sense (I'm reading it back and it makes hardly any sense to me), I've just been thinking about it since I said it and I had to get it off my chest. I have gotten little to no sleep in the last few days (try 2 and 4am on consecutive nights and it's also currently 2:30am), I guess I'm back to being a partial insomniac again.

Bottom line: I want to help people. I am happy when I help people. I want to make others happy by helping them. I feel useful and worthy when I help people. I feel like I'm making a difference, even if it's just a small one. I want to change the world and make it better place for others.

Please check out Hopeful Productions at http://hopefulproductions.tumblr.com/ and support them.

Thanks and goodnight.