St Valentine's Day

Today is the 13th of February. I went to my classes, did my work, saw my friends; nothing out of the ordinary.

Tomorrow is the 14th of February. I will go to my classes and meetings, do my work, see my friends, and do nothing out of the ordinary.

Except for a lot of people, tomorrow the 14th of February is one that they'd rather not face. Tomorrow might remind them of broken relationships, lost loved ones. It might make them feel even more alone in a sea of people than they already do. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

Valentine's Day wasn't always what it is now - a day that's become primarily about Hallmark cards and letting other people and material gifts determine your place and value in the world. It was originally St Valentine's Day, a day honoring the Christian martyrs, Saint Valentine (there were at least three of them), at least one of which had been martyred on the 14th. It wasn't until poet Geoffrey Chaucer penned:

For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make.

["For this was Saint Valentine's Day, when every bird cometh there to choose his mate."]

that the romantic traditions started occurring. The day had originally started out as a day to honor a saint and his good works. Years later, it was removed from the General Roman Calendar but yet it still continues as a day where one would send letters, cards, flowers, chocolates, candy and stuffed toys (often in varying shades of pink and red) to loved ones. Or potential loved ones. And what happens when you don't receive any letters, cards, flowers, chocolates, candy or stuffed toys?

It took one poet and his one line to turn St Valentine's Day into what it is now, and somewhere along the way, we've just accepted what we've been fed. We've bought into this idea of Valentine's Day - that you're not loved if you're alone on this day. That you're not cared for if you don't get anything. That you're not worth it if you've been left behind.

But it's not true. Love isn't something you can materialise. It's not something tangible that can be represented through chocolates and flowers and cute teddy bears. I've never been in love, but I understand what it's like to feel alone. It's not a flaw to be lonely, and it's not wrong either. It's natural and it's inevitable when you open your heart up to someone. Love and loneliness, we cannot have one without the other.

I have every reason to hate Valentine's Day this year. Broken hearts and promises, stomped on feelings and confusing mind games in the last year have given me every reason to despise it this year. But I don't. Because I'm really not alone on this day, and neither are you. I have friends and family and I'm not about to let one day in the year and the absence of a person decide how I see myself. I hope you don't either.

This year, don't let Valentine's Day be entirely about someone else. Let it be about learning to appreciate yourself first before being able to appreciate others. I know it's difficult and even I'm learning as I go, but I know that the end will be much more fulfilling and purposeful.

And anyway, we shouldn't need a designated day to show the people we love that we care about them and appreciate them. We should always show them that.

To Write Love On Hejr Arms is holding their annual Valentine's Day Doesn't Have to Suck chat on absolutepunk.net. If you're feeling alone this year, I encourage you to join in. You're not the only one.

Happy Valentine's Day :).

Source: thenotebookdoodles.com via Desiree on Pinterest