Today in our To Write Love On Her Arms IC meeting we shared a couple of stories and experiences. One of the stories that was shared was how one of the members of our group got called crazy in her freshman year by her roommate because she was dealing with issues like anxiety, depression and self-abuse. Her roommate didn't understand and just couldn't grasp (or maybe didn't want to) what it meant to hurt and suffer that way and so just lumped it down to her being "crazy". The gasp and shocked expressions that took over all of our faces when we heard that was incredible. I don't think there was a single one of us who hadn't heard that story before who felt shocked, enraged and maybe even a little pitiful for the person who had said that.
Just because you deal with issues like that doesn't make you crazy. It means you're normal (whatever that means!). You're human, you feel, you think. We all go through different lengths and depths of "craziness" but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you.
We were discussing deconstruction last week in my one of my English classes and one of the things that we talked about was how Derrida argues that we tend to think and express our thoughts in terms of opposites. For example, something is tall and so not short, masculine and therefore not feminine, conscious and therefore not unconscious, and so on.
In that sense then, what is "crazy"? After some super pro Googling, I found on good ol' thesaurus.com that some antonyms for "crazy" are "realistic", "sane" and "sensible". Someone answered this same question on answers.com, saying that: "A word meaning the opposite of crazy is sane. Some people might equate "sane" with being mellow, indifferent, or not easily rattled" (the bold is an addition). And, this is my favourite, the "best answer" to the opposite word of crazy on Yahoo! Answers is "boring and closed minded". (I know that answers.com and Yahoo! Answers aren't exactly credible sources but I put them in for lols. Everyone needs some lolness in their life)
Do these "opposite" meanings of "crazy" not seem... dull to you? Yes, being realistic is good, it keeps you grounded. But having dreams are even better. They give you something to reach towards and something to focus on.
If, according the above person's definition, "sane" can equate to "indifferent", well then I definitely don't want to be sane. Being indifferent and not caring about anything is such a waste of a life. We were put on this planet for a reason. If we were put on this planet and given this life to be indifferent, why were we put here at all? What would you wake up in the morning for?
And of course, no one wants to be boring and closed minded. That's not fun for anyone.
So if those are the opposites of being crazy, why is it such a bad thing to be crazy? Being crazy sounds a lot more fun than being not crazy, but maybe that's just me. And I guess that makes me crazy.
As the Cheshire Cat says to Alice, "We're all mad here."
But if being crazy scares you, don't worry. You're gonna get better soon. Not not-crazy but something that transcends the awesomeness of being crazy. You're going to be incredible :).
Matchbox Twenty - by Warner-Music
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Fears vs Dreams: Thoughts from Applefest
The weekend just gone was Ithaca's annual Applefest, which is the town's apple harvest festival. The Ithaca College To Write Love On Her Arms UChapter (University Chapter) had a table there and I was helping out. Despite the freezing cold and dismal rain, it was one of the happiest days I'd had in a very long time.
So for those who have never heard of To Write Love On Her Arms, TWLOHA is a non-profit movement devoted to reaching out and helping people suffering from depression, addiction and self-injury, and investing directly into treatment and recovery. We believe in conversation and community. We believe - no, we know that you're not alone in your hurt and fear. We believe that your best and brightest days are ahead. We believe that you are loved more than you can ever comprehend, even if it's sometimes hard to believe.
I started the day not knowing any of the people I was going to be spending the day with but I didn't care. The whole weekend was scheduled to be freezing, windy and rainy but I didn't care. I had an 8-10 page assignment due on Monday and three plays to read but I didn't care. I was involved with TWLOHA and I was spreading the word. That's all that mattered.
We had a bunch of stuff available at our TWLOHA table; we were doing henna 'love' tattoos in different languages, selling TWLOHA merch, we had contact information for local and national hotlines, selling silver ribbons but what I was most excited about was the Fears vs Dreams project that we decided to take part in.
The Fears vs Dreams project started as a road trip where TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski and photographer Jeremy Cowart travelled around collecting people's fears and dreams. They would get people to write down a fear and a dream and take a photo of it. You might think it sounds silly and pointless - "I'm not afraid of anything." - but it's not. Sometimes it's easier to admit these things in forms that aren't verbal, I know it's like that for me, and some times you need to admit these things, to voice them. What you might find is that you're not alone in your fears and insecurities or your dreams and ambitions.
I sure thought I was in mine. I spent about half an hour trying to work up the courage to write down one of my fears and dreams and when I finally managed to pen "Fear: To be alone and unloved. Dream: To be genuinely happy with who I am", the girl next to me read it and went, "that's my fear and dream too". I thought I was the only one who had those insecurities. It's so easy to look at someone surrounded by people and think that they don't have to worry about having no one. But that's not what it means to not be alone. You can be in a room filled with people you've known your whole life and still feel alone.
What I discovered at Applefest was that so many of us share the same fears and dreams. We fear living a life alone and unfulfilled and dream of making an impact and living a life filled with love and happiness. But yet, we don't talk about it.
People are scared to admit their fears, and even their dreams. They're afraid others will laugh at them, look down on them, think less of them. Well, they probably share the some of the fears and dreams you have and maybe they react that way because they're scared to admit it to themselves.
You don't have to be. To have fear is absolutely normal. It's so human, it's boring. But that's what makes it great. Maybe we don't all share the exact same fears but some of us do and it's a comfort to know that you're not alone. Fearing doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're alive. It means you feel. It means that when you get past what you're afraid of (and you will), you're going to be wiser and stronger than you were before.
And dreams. Dreams give us something to wake up for everyday. They give us hope and motivation in a life that's so short and uncertain. They give us a future.
Maybe your dreams are what your fear. That's totally okay. That's more than okay, it's good. Get past those fears and shoot for your goals. Take that uncertainty and turn it in to motivation. It might take some time and it might be slow but when you get there, it'll be all the more worth it.
Photo courtesy of Karalyn Marks.
If you'd like, share some of your fears and dreams with me.
Learn more about To Write Love On Her Arms here.
Learn more about Fears vs Dreams here.
See more photos from Applefest here and here.
So for those who have never heard of To Write Love On Her Arms, TWLOHA is a non-profit movement devoted to reaching out and helping people suffering from depression, addiction and self-injury, and investing directly into treatment and recovery. We believe in conversation and community. We believe - no, we know that you're not alone in your hurt and fear. We believe that your best and brightest days are ahead. We believe that you are loved more than you can ever comprehend, even if it's sometimes hard to believe.
I started the day not knowing any of the people I was going to be spending the day with but I didn't care. The whole weekend was scheduled to be freezing, windy and rainy but I didn't care. I had an 8-10 page assignment due on Monday and three plays to read but I didn't care. I was involved with TWLOHA and I was spreading the word. That's all that mattered.
We had a bunch of stuff available at our TWLOHA table; we were doing henna 'love' tattoos in different languages, selling TWLOHA merch, we had contact information for local and national hotlines, selling silver ribbons but what I was most excited about was the Fears vs Dreams project that we decided to take part in.
The Fears vs Dreams project started as a road trip where TWLOHA founder Jamie Tworkowski and photographer Jeremy Cowart travelled around collecting people's fears and dreams. They would get people to write down a fear and a dream and take a photo of it. You might think it sounds silly and pointless - "I'm not afraid of anything." - but it's not. Sometimes it's easier to admit these things in forms that aren't verbal, I know it's like that for me, and some times you need to admit these things, to voice them. What you might find is that you're not alone in your fears and insecurities or your dreams and ambitions.
I sure thought I was in mine. I spent about half an hour trying to work up the courage to write down one of my fears and dreams and when I finally managed to pen "Fear: To be alone and unloved. Dream: To be genuinely happy with who I am", the girl next to me read it and went, "that's my fear and dream too". I thought I was the only one who had those insecurities. It's so easy to look at someone surrounded by people and think that they don't have to worry about having no one. But that's not what it means to not be alone. You can be in a room filled with people you've known your whole life and still feel alone.
What I discovered at Applefest was that so many of us share the same fears and dreams. We fear living a life alone and unfulfilled and dream of making an impact and living a life filled with love and happiness. But yet, we don't talk about it.
People are scared to admit their fears, and even their dreams. They're afraid others will laugh at them, look down on them, think less of them. Well, they probably share the some of the fears and dreams you have and maybe they react that way because they're scared to admit it to themselves.
You don't have to be. To have fear is absolutely normal. It's so human, it's boring. But that's what makes it great. Maybe we don't all share the exact same fears but some of us do and it's a comfort to know that you're not alone. Fearing doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're alive. It means you feel. It means that when you get past what you're afraid of (and you will), you're going to be wiser and stronger than you were before.
And dreams. Dreams give us something to wake up for everyday. They give us hope and motivation in a life that's so short and uncertain. They give us a future.
Maybe your dreams are what your fear. That's totally okay. That's more than okay, it's good. Get past those fears and shoot for your goals. Take that uncertainty and turn it in to motivation. It might take some time and it might be slow but when you get there, it'll be all the more worth it.
Photo courtesy of Karalyn Marks.
If you'd like, share some of your fears and dreams with me.
Learn more about To Write Love On Her Arms here.
Learn more about Fears vs Dreams here.
See more photos from Applefest here and here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)